When You Are 50 And You Are Doing Well

I have one distant “omnivorous” relative…

You know, there are men who tend to be unprincipled when it comes to sex. If someone asks them what kind of women they admire, such men would not be able to answer the latter. Most likely, they would be able to name a couple of women, who they don’t like. Women like Litvinova, Zemfira, etc. In other words, the ones who would never sleep with them.

A man like this knows right away what is worth to spend time on and what is now. And it can’t be said that this man is an adult carrying lots of experience. Not at all. It is rather a massive guy with a huge nose, who simply has great speaking abilities. After fucking one famous

female figure, who was 25 years older than him, he was exactly the one who invented the phrase, “You know, even though she’s 50, she’s still doing well!!!” It’s been a while since this all happened, and this woman has already turned 60… Yet, she’s still doing well!!

Everything that has occurred in the health and beauty world in the past 20 years is utterly mind-blowing. Thanks to technology and the wild popularity of a healthy lifestyle, women stopped aging. Aging in a traditional sense of this word. In addition, the phrase “it’s not scary to be a grandpa, but it’s scary to fuck a grandma” has completely lost any meaning. Nowadays, no one can really determine who is a grandma and who is not. I mean, look at Sveta Bondarchuk! She already has two grandkids!!! I don’t think that her spouse, Fedor, suddenly got scared. I don’t think that’s the issue.

Woman and age is a problem that transitioned to another quality level in the 21st century, to be precise, it got delayed, outdated… Moreover, every case is unique. The aging hurdles get resolved by money, time, and the individual decision of a woman to “not get older”. Nowadays, the victorious women are the ones, who don’t smoke, don’t drink, do exercise daily, do massages and any other body treatments, take

new-generation vitamins on a regular basis, follow a detox regimen, and during the period of wild detox they “turn to their man”, lead active career, and don’t burden themselves with any housewife obligations.

The Beauty Routine is a priority for a modern wealthy woman. The injections have become such an ordinary activity,  just  like  doing dubage or enema during the Soviet times. Sizes, precisely the sizes, not the weight, of a Russian woman have diminished by two times in comparison to a Soviet female.

As a matter of fact, life expectancy has shifted to a better side. My mother-in-law once told me that her mother died at 75 “from old age”. Nowadays, it is practically impossible — to be a healthy person, yet die at the age of 75. In the modern civilized world, a 75-year-old woman manages to drive a car, travel, degustate, and cook for her own

pleasure. She is socially active, not merely by sitting and conversing on a bench by her building’s entrance, but by working as a volunteer at the sports events as well as participating in various philanthropic actions due to the call of the heart. She doesn’t wail or lament while talking about her “sores”. She doesn’t do it not because she is shy or humble, but because she simply doesn’t have any. Is that even possible? Of course it is, for a mindful woman always goes to an annual clinical examination. She is not afraid of the doctors, because she knows that her well-being is in her own hands, and in order to sustain it, she needs to take care of herself on a daily basis. Injecting something in one’s face is just a small part, which allows a modern woman to look and feel great.

My grandma is 87. She put the date of birth in the opposite direction to go to war. This is an extraordinary representative of a reasonable woman. Not only does she remember all the phone numbers without using any address book, she also manages to remind me where everything is placed and stored at home. She is a woman of natural beauty, who has never injected anything and assertively moisturized   her face with my leg cream, because she admired the smell of it. She also preferred to apply the greasy cream from Luda’s cosmetic bag to dry feet. It worked. Currently, nothing bothers my grandma except the joints. Age-related (!) arthritis, as they say. Ugh, if there was a drinking collagen 10 years ago, she would still manage to run, unafraid to face any obstacles.

Modern technology allows to nourish the face skin both in internal and external way, cells in liposomal, and brain in informative. You can

non-surgically narrow the vagina, remove any risk areas for prevention purposes (e.g. Angelina and her mammary glands), make a hysterectomy, liposuction and transfer of fat without anesthesia and incisions, also without the latter, tighten the face according to the “laces” technology, and even transplant hair… In fact, all of this can be done without sacrificing one’s active lifestyle — you can “correct” something on Friday and already be at work by Monday. In the past 10

years, the laser industry has removed “thermage” from the face of the Earth, leaving the manufacturer without his pants. Co2 for the wrinkles around the eyes, ablative fraxel for the same purpose. Suitable for any taste: one “shaves”, while the other “burns out”. Pulse destroys everything “dark” in its path — be it thick black hair or pigment spots.

The botox manufacturer, the company Allergan, has beaten all the records of capitalization of the initial formation throughout the history of pharmacology. Juvederm — nowadays, it’s like this brilliant green paste (called “zelenka”) from my kindergarten days back in 1980. It can aid anyone at any moment for any reason. You can expand anything!!! I’m curious, by the way, can a dick be pricked with hyaluron to make it tighter??? This question should undergo further study.

A 50-year-old woman in the 21st century is not an aged, God forbid, old, but rather simply an adult woman. I appreciate how my young friends (by date of birth) even consider such a concept as “aged”. Aged implies a mature experienced pussy with an open bosom and a legible head.

I understand that all of the above might sound like a prayer and a magic spell for many. Indeed, let me finish this text by claiming, AMEN.

© Masha Lopatova