How I Stayed in America (Part 30)

“How did you come up with this idea?” Well, both my husband and I have talked a lot about it and have always considered adoption. Oddly enough, this decision was based on the desire to help. Help a child find their home. It is a marvelous feeling to give someone else’s child the opportunity to find a family. This is a huge responsibility and a lot of work. However, my husband and I are people with a heightened sense  of responsibility and also hard workers, so adoption seemed like a very logical next step for the expansion of our family.

We  always knew that this would be a child from Russia. This kind of   help is really needed in our home country. There are lots of orphanages and children whose parents have been deprived of their rights. You can talk for a long time about the development of Russia, but everything   that concerns children “without homes” is the primary indicator of the country’s backwardness. At least for me. By the way, I agree that now  the situation has begun to change for the better. Currently, the state of orphanages is satisfactory, and some of them are generally very decent. Nevertheless, think about it: in many countries there are no orphanages at all! There is no such institution!

Ideally, we wanted to adopt two children, preferably twins or a brother and a sister. Moreover, we already wanted a little “grown-up” child, who would be three or four years old. So, we began the process of collecting documents. Frankly speaking, we did not really advertise this process.  We did not consider it necessary to notify anyone, neither our parents nor our friends. Surely, we discussed the appearance of a new family member with our eldest son, who welcomed this idea with joy. We also explained the situation to Little Stepa at some point. When our adopted child appeared in our family, Stepa was only two and a half years old.

Although he was small, he was already very smart. At this age, he spoke excellently, both in Russian and English. And yes, he was also ready for a brother and sister.

The process of collecting documents is not the most exciting, and it usually lasts about the same as a pregnancy term. Indeed, it took out so much energy from us. The collection  of  documents  is  usually concluded with the main paper. It is the paper that authorizes the  couple to gain the status of foster parents. And then the most difficult part begins — the selection of the child. At the place of registration, you get access to the dossier on children, 99 percent of which are unwell.

Some are strongly unwell, while some are extremely unwell. After going through the filing cabinet all day, I selected a few children. In fact, there were no twins at all. I went to the head of the department, and after studying the case, she asked me sternly: “Do you want them to die?”  “No, I want to cure them, give them opportunities.” “Opportunities are opportunities, but don’t act recklessly. I will call you when healthy children appear.” I concurred.

Literally a week later, I received a call: “I have a brother and sister, their mother was deprived of her rights. She’s an alcoholic, who almost burned down an apartment with her kids inside. The boy is three years old, and the girl is nine months old. Would you like to come and see them?” “Yes of course!” I rushed to the orphanage. The boy Tyoma, absolutely charming, was walking on the playground with his group. He was so gentle and touching. I really liked him. But then there was a

moment: I might have liked him, but did he like me? This was the main question. Indeed, why on earth would a three-year-old child like some random woman? You need to understand something. Children living in such homes can be happy. This is what they are accustomed to: their  way of life, regime, mentors — this is all of their fairly comfortable life.

Yes, they don’t really know what mom is, but because they don’t know what it is, that’s why they don’t suffer. On the same day, they showed me his sister Varvara. She was on another floor, laying in a box for very little ones. She was very pretty with an amazing feature — she had a gray strand of hair. I talked to the director of the orphanage, and we agreed that I would come see them twice a week. This is a proper procedure, children should be drawn to their potential parents in order to easily and painlessly move from their usual habitat to a new home.

I was anxious and happy at the same time, when in a few days I     planned another trip to see Tyoma and Varvara. I rushed to the toy    store, bought some Mickey Mouse, cars, and other stuff. I came over there, and the first thing I did was run to Tyoma and dump a huge bag    of toys on the grass. Honestly, I had no clue how I could convince the child to want to come home with me. We played and talked very well.   He smiled, but was still a little alert. We said our goodbyes, and I went to the floor where Varvara was. Imagine my surprise when Varvara was not in her box anymore. Something did not seem right. Later, the nanny came and said: “You know, Varvara got ill, and we had to send her to the hospital. We live according to instructions, and when a child’s temperature rises above 38, we are obliged to send them to the hospital…”

We  always knew that this would be a child from Russia. This kind of   help is really needed in our home country. There are lots of orphanages and children whose parents have been deprived of their rights. You can talk for a long time about the development of Russia, but everything   that concerns children “without homes” is the primary indicator of the country’s backwardness. At least for me. By the way, I agree that now  the situation has begun to change for the better. Currently, the state of orphanages is satisfactory, and some of them are generally very decent. Nevertheless, think about it: in many countries there are no orphanages at all! There is no such institution!

Ideally, we wanted to adopt two children, preferably twins or a brother and a sister. Moreover, we already wanted a little “grown-up” child, who would be three or four years old. So, we began the process of collecting documents. Frankly speaking, we did not really advertise this process.  We did not consider it necessary to notify anyone, neither our parents nor our friends. Surely, we discussed the appearance of a new family member with our eldest son, who welcomed this idea with joy. We also explained the situation to Little Stepa at some point. When our adopted child appeared in our family, Stepa was only two and a half years old.

Although he was small, he was already very smart. At this age, he spoke excellently, both in Russian and English. And yes, he was also ready for a brother and sister.

The process of collecting documents is not the most exciting, and it usually lasts about the same as a pregnancy term. Indeed, it took out so much energy from us. The collection  of  documents  is  usually concluded with the main paper. It is the paper that authorizes the  couple to gain the status of foster parents. And then the most difficult part begins — the selection of the child. At the place of registration, you get access to the dossier on children, 99 percent of which are unwell.

Some are strongly unwell, while some are extremely unwell. After going through the filing cabinet all day, I selected a few children. In fact, there were no twins at all. I went to the head of the department, and after studying the case, she asked me sternly: “Do you want them to die?”  “No, I want to cure them, give them opportunities.” “Opportunities are opportunities, but don’t act recklessly. I will call you when healthy children appear.” I concurred.

Literally a week later, I received a call: “I have a brother and sister, their mother was deprived of her rights. She’s an alcoholic, who almost burned down an apartment with her kids inside. The boy is three years old, and the girl is nine months old. Would you like to come and see them?” “Yes of course!” I rushed to the orphanage. The boy Tyoma, absolutely charming, was walking on the playground with his group. He was so gentle and touching. I really liked him. But then there was a

moment: I might have liked him, but did he like me? This was the main question. Indeed, why on earth would a three-year-old child like some random woman? You need to understand something. Children living in such homes can be happy. This is what they are accustomed to: their  way of life, regime, mentors — this is all of their fairly comfortable life.

Yes, they don’t really know what mom is, but because they don’t know what it is, that’s why they don’t suffer. On the same day, they showed me his sister Varvara. She was on another floor, laying in a box for very little ones. She was very pretty with an amazing feature — she had a gray strand of hair. I talked to the director of the orphanage, and we agreed that I would come see them twice a week. This is a proper procedure, children should be drawn to their potential parents in order to easily and painlessly move from their usual habitat to a new home.

I was anxious and happy at the same time, when in a few days I     planned another trip to see Tyoma and Varvara. I rushed to the toy    store, bought some Mickey Mouse, cars, and other stuff. I came over there, and the first thing I did was run to Tyoma and dump a huge bag    of toys on the grass. Honestly, I had no clue how I could convince the child to want to come home with me. We played and talked very well.   He smiled, but was still a little alert. We said our goodbyes, and I went to the floor where Varvara was. Imagine my surprise when Varvara was not in her box anymore. Something did not seem right. Later, the nanny came and said: “You know, Varvara got ill, and we had to send her to the hospital. We live according to instructions, and when a child’s temperature rises above 38, we are obliged to send them to the hospital…”