The Right of Women to Not Give Birth

Lenox Hill, New York. February 9, 2015. 6:20 am. I’m about to have a baby. This is the last time I’m doing it, I’ve decided. In front of me is my   favorite Jewish gynecologist, Sassoon. I look at him and think: “I wonder why are the Jews so fond of doing such intimate procedures?” He has a piece of paper to sign. Next to me is my husband, wearing special   clothes to enter the operating room, however, the doctor is the main man in the room at that instance. Sassoon says: “So, I’m asking you for the last time in front of witnesses — are you really ready to pull your remaining pipe?” — “Yes.” — “Then sign!”

I signed. Sassoon signed. The witness — the nurse — also signed. And my husband just looks at all of us, without fully understanding what this all means. We will no longer have our biological children. Well, or I’m definitely not going to give birth. I think that this is not important for my husband at the moment — he, like all men, is worried about the next couple of hours, no more.

I love to share this story as, indeed, about most of my personal

non-secrets. People wonder, “But why? What for? How do you do that?” I can offer only one answer to all these questions — because I am a power woman. I am a power woman because I do not doubt the correctness of my decisions. Yes, it sounds immodest,  but  I  count myself among this percentage of women. There are a handful of them    in the world, in Russia there are only a few, and we all can recognize  their faces.

Many retort: “Who would you be if it wasn’t for your famous husband?” If it wasn’t for my famous husband, then I would have had another famous husband. Or a non-famous one, yet if it was necessary, I would

make him famous. I determine who my husband is, and I don’t need any help here.

Probably, I was lucky to live in the USA for many years. It helps to see many things differently. Think about self-identification. Consider different women, their fates and deeds. If looking at a Russian power woman — she is still a kind of centaur with a beautiful head and smart ass, or vice versa.

In Russia, without being beautiful, a woman cannot be perceived as a  real power. Not yet. Her key strength is still a masterful manipulation of men. Therefore, the Russian centaur is a beautiful female, who easily gives birth to children. She has three, four, five, six, and with each one she gains three to five kilograms (exactly the weight of the child), which she corrected as soon as possible. No postpartum depression (or she manages to hide this condition), no wrinkles on the face. The body is no worse than the body of her sixteen-year-old daughter. She is still fertile and ready to produce on demand. She  has  a  massive  Instagram account with tons of followers, she promotes fashion and charity events, she is sports oriented and has a business that actually does not have to generate income.

However,  all of the components above do not guarantee her success in   a relationship with a man. Which, by the way, is a sponsor and a tool for creating her image. Therefore, the image is artificial and can fall apart in the shortest time possible, when suddenly this man meets another woman who can create an even bigger universe around her.

Although I have other examples. An oligarchic wife. A lot of children. The husband wants more, despite the fact that the elder is already at the university. At some point, she simply said to him: “No, we will not have more children, I want to live for myself.” And now she practices yoga, reads bhajans, goes to ashrams, meditates, communicates with spiritual mentors, and easily answers all questions regarding life.

Despite the fact that their ship (they do not have a yacht or a boat, but a

ship), which all smells like sandalwood sticks, no one has thrown her overboard yet.

Is she afraid to be left alone? Not at all. Is she afraid that he would “give birth” to a child on the side? As he pleases!

In my opinion, the man’s phrase “I want children from you” has a disgusting effect on a woman. For a woman, it means a dizzying victory over a man, but in reality he simply chose the optimal incubator. Male chauvinism is off scale, and it is almost impossible to pave a way for yourself without a talented interfoot. But you can still do it! And the talent to present as a nice bonus.

In the big world, women are not afraid to choose the “single” status. Not having a man as a life partner is no longer a trigger for many. Moreover, this is not even dangerous for evolution. Instead, it is useful: a woman is picky, solely out of a reluctance to remain an old lonely maid, she would not just be with someone random. A modern woman is in no hurry to   get married, lives for her own pleasure, works, travels, has non-binding sex with those who satisfy her. And she does not consider everyone as a potential father of her future children. She is friends with men, gays,   and women. She is open to experiments, does not judge anyone, but simply states the facts. She, as a rule, is socially active, participates in marathons, understands art, knows how to build relationships with friends, appreciates someone else’s and her time. Power woman usually does not enter into a stupid competition, such as “she’s thin but I’ll be even thinner” or “how to get rich”.

It is hard for a Russian man to be with a power woman. It’s easy merely if he himself is a power man. If they unite in a family, a hyper talented tandem can be established, capable of turning the world upside down for creative purposes. But this is from the area of high relations. For some reason, Elena Bonner and Andrei Sakharov come to my mind. I can hardly imagine Academician Sakharov married  to  Ksenia Sukhinova. With all due respect to the latter. Although Ksenia once fell

in love with Andrei Dmitrievich… Vishnevskaya, even in Soviet times, was a power woman, and together with Rostropovich, they were endlessly charismatic. Raisa Maksimovna was a gorgeous woman, and Mikhail Sergeevich was by no means a henpecked. The Clintons were once the ultimate super-couple. In general, there are cases when  both  a  man and a woman do not obey anyone in the house — then both rule either the world, or industries, or public consciousness.

Роwer woman is primarily a preacher of the lifestyle that I call

Pro-choice. Here’s a thing: she doesn’t have to have children. Children are not the main purpose of her self-realization, but a short-term measure of a man’s “attachment”.

She is able to bring ideas to life. She is able to make independent decisions without the help of a man. She is able to resist the domination of a dumb guy. She does not take her husband away from someone else’s family.

A Russian power woman has an ambiguous image among the masses. First of all, she is credited with non-traditional sexual orientation, or some, who are completely foolish, claim that she’s ugly. It’s a shame because we have incredibly beautiful, bright, heterosexual power women in Russia. They are attacked by both insecure men and equally powerful insecure women. Men affectionately call them “a horse with balls”, and women publicly sympathize with them and start talking about a heavy, unbearable burden, concluding with the phrase “I don’t understand why live at all if there are no children.” Housewives cannot find an answer to this question. They have their own mantra, it calms them down. It goes like this, “I have children, so I am fine.”

In our “elite society”, it is not easy to remain powerful, but some women still manage to do so. For instance, Olga Slutsker, who after surviving a divorce from Vladimir, became the mother of twins. After the humiliating battle for having the right to see her eldest kids, who were prior taken away from Olga, it was a clear demonstration to the whole

Russian world how a man can deprive a woman of any dignity. However, a woman is a strong figure — she is strong because she has an ability to rehabilitate herself, to gather herself into a fist and show everyone what she’s capable of. If possible, I would add, as a lyrical digression, that a mother should never, under any circumstances (unless she is a criminal, of course) have her children taken away. If only because children tend to grow up and turn into adults. It’s scary to think what kind of adults would they turn to if they’re raised without their mother.

Ksenia Sobchak, an obvious domineering woman who is honest with herself and others, went further — she repeatedly voiced her dislike for children and her unwillingness to have her own. She never abandoned her words that she did not like children even after she gave birth to a child. Ksenia continues to live a very active life and even runs for president. And what about our society? Society doesn’t like such people. Society loves a typical housewife who stays at home and cooks soup.

Svetlana Bondarchuk, despite her secularity and once strong affection for her husband, Fedya, over the past ten years has proved to the world, as well as to Fedya’s numerous female fans, that she is and always will be the number one woman. For both Fedya as well as for millions of Russian women. Sveta is a great example of timeless beauty, style and class!

I am also fascinated by Miroslava Duma and Meruert Ibrahim — by their fantastic drive, comprehension of beauty, and ability to act. Tatyana Yumasheva is also a vivid example, and Natasha Sindeeva is just a superhero.

The possibility of moving into the category of power for a woman starts at the moment when she does not just correspond to a man, but    begins to outstrip him. As soon as you surpass him even a little, sex as a currency would cease to be the main value of your relationship.

Well, yes, you face healthy rivalry and competition. It is great though, because this is what — in addition to short-term sexual attraction — can awaken a man’s genuine interest in a woman. That relationship would last a long time. Yes, her physical aspects are also important to him, however, beauty, according to the new rules, should be unobtrusive, not forced, and natural.

The times when a woman should have remained “some kind of   mystery” are long gone. This song would still be good for a bus driver, but for a Harvard Business School graduate it would no longer be appropriate to sing it. Moreover, there are no unsolved mysteries left for MBA holders — otherwise, why was it necessary for them to get an education?

I am amazed why many Russian women have not yet understood that they must and are capable of changing the world. Or are they just lazy? Russia is an orthodox country, and most women hope that after marriage, all decisions would be made by the husband. This is why the “furry gold from Listerman”, as it was, remains a bargaining chip in operations “love and other wisdom”. This is undoubtedly a primitive  idea of self-realization, but if short-term, it would be strong and reliable. Moreover, the Russian people, as you know, do not look far into the future.

Nevertheless, in foreign magazines, the topic of power woman runs like a red thread. In other countries, women do not merely write something about themselves, but solve problems of an international scale, yet at the same time, they still consider themselves disadvantaged. They are offended to earn on average twenty-five percent less than men would earn while doing exactly the same job. In other countries, women are in business, dealing with the problems, such as gene modification or figuring out how to prevent cancer, AIDS and even Alzheimer’s disease. There are many power women in Silicon Valley — perhaps, this is one of the most favorable places for them to live and work nowadays.

Technicians, computer geeks, and just excellent students can aim for maximum success and remuneration.

The global trends, which many women strive to obtain to gain power, exist. Furthermore, they do not merely concern fashion, street style, and diet. Currently, the most essential thing is that a woman must live ideologically — and only in this case she is able to succeed.

“The nobility of thought and the sequence of actions!” — this is the motto that I invented for myself when I was laying on preservation. It seems to me that this motto is exactly what determines the success of  a woman in the new world.

© Masha Lopatova