When I chat with my mother, she always tends to say that back in the
days the term \u201cdepression\u201d did not exist, to which I usually reply that
back in the days there was no internet. Times are changing, and so are
people, as well as their lifestyle and way of thinking. It is impossible to
believe that merely 20 years ago there was no Internet. How did we
manage to live??? Well, we lived perfectly fine, even without any
internet, photoshop, or filters. How have we changed qualitatively???
Honestly, we haven\u2019t. However! As the environment around us has been
altering at lightning speed, it has become more difficult for us to cope.
To not merely cope with ourselves, but essentially to explore our
identities and follow a given course. Therefore, psychologists suddenly
appeared out of nowhere. Or psychotherapists. In Russia, it all started
with Kashpirovsky and continued with the battle of psychics.
Nonetheless, this is not for the progressive part of humanity, not for this
part of the public, I mean.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nowadays, I notice the uprising enthusiasm and serious attitude of
society towards such a profession as a psychologist and its mission.
Unfortunately, not all the Russian individuals are ready to work on
themselves, especially if it involves seeking help from a stranger. It is
challenging for a Russian person to trust someone they don\u2019t know that
well, while also voicing their innermost thoughts or, God forbid, secrets.
I personally admire psychologists very much, and I happened to work
with some. I\u2019ll share a little later about what prompted me to go to a
psychologist.
When my friends turn to me for help or advice \u2014 usually it would not
be a question like which sweater to buy for the winter, but rather
something that troubles them on a deeper level \u2014 that’s’ when I know
that they need help not from just a friend, but from a specialist. And I
always say: \u201cGo to a psychologist!\u201d Almost every friend then begins to
ask me about the process, what would happen to them during each
session, what they should do when it would be time to share
everything, and at first they always refuse, claiming: \u201cWell, no, I probably
won’t be able to do so.\u201d It just seems odd to me. There is no explanation
to why \u2014 when there is a difficult moment in life \u2014 not see a specialist?
If you don’t know what to do, you can’t figure out the situation, why not
ask a specially trained person? It just seems peculiar to me. For some
reason, a person chooses to talk to a friend, thus dumping everything
on them. Why does one trust friends, but not a psychologist? After all, a
loved one cannot always give the right advice. Moreover, a loved one
can undoubtedly support and listen to you, but there is no chance for
adequate advice. There is merely an option to find out how this loved
one would have acted, and this may be a fatal mistake. How would they
know what to do \u2014 they are not you!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet again, from a psychological point of view, it is easier for a Russian
person to \u201cdump\u201d everything on a friend or an acquaintance, to wash it
down with several bottles of wine and in the morning realize, \u201cI feel
better, however, the problem did not disappear\u2026\u201d So, what to do? A
psychologist, without any wine present, yet with some money involved,
of course, would completely and reasonably assess your situation. This is
the beauty of having a therapist. Believe me, in order to deal with the
problem, it is better to do it without any empathy. Most importantly, it is
worth understanding why you are asking for help. It is a crucial
component! Are you asking for help to solve a problem, or to feel sorry
for yourself? So, for sympathy and pity, a girlfriend would be enough. A
therapist would not treat you with pity, instead, he would help dig
deeper. Yes, he would \u201cpick on you\u201d, and until he finds what he needs,
he would not dismiss the issue. There is nothing wrong with that,
because the doctor is obliged to follow medical confidentiality rules,
and after all, I assure you, nothing lingers in a psychologist’s head,
otherwise he would go crazy. It’s good that there is such a specialist to
whom you can tell the most terrible things about yourself, and he
would never blame or judge you. By the way, if you come across a
therapist, who would shame you for your misdeeds, then run away from
him as soon as possible \u2014 this is not a specialist, it\u2019s a charlatan.
Let me share how I got to a real therapist and, in fact, attended a
psychoanalysis session. And let me emphasize this once again: I didn\u2019t
see a psychotherapist who prescribes sedatives. I went to see a
psychologist who, in principle, cannot prescribe pills. He sits down and
just \u201cworks\u201d with you for 50 minutes. Yes, 50 minutes is not a random
number \u2014 this is how much time is needed for a session, and no more.
More time can overwhelm both the doctor and the patient.
My adopted daughter was the main reason I ended up seeing a
psychologist. My husband and I did not know how to properly reveal to
her that she was adopted and decided to contact a specialist. Sasha
was only 7 years old then, and according to the therapist, we came to
her a little late. It turns out that information of such nature should be
delivered to a child at the age of 5-5.5 \u2014 this is the age when the child is
already able to perceive information, but still does not have the ability to
\u201cdigest\u201d it incorrectly. The older the child is, the harder it would be for
him\/her to cope with it. The adopted child, according to my therapist,
must live and grow, knowing that he\/she is adopted. There is nothing
wrong with that. Thus, our doctor prepared us properly. She
recommended books that Sasha should read, and explained that the
adopted child needs to be explained that he is special, in a good sense
of the word. This child\u2019s uniqueness is that he\/she was much more
fortunate than other children.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After several sessions with our therapist (we attended them together
with my husband), we got so \u201cturned on\u201d that during the process we
decided to strengthen our relationship. Not that it was weak, but there
were still a few questions \u2014 it was quite an interesting experience. As a
result, we \u201cgot hooked\u201d on our doctor and were always in a rush to see
her 2-3 times a week. The doctor worked according to the scheme of
alternating individual and joint sessions. In the course of our \u201cstudies\u201d,
we learned a lot, for example, to listen to each other. It might sound
primitive, but in practice, when a couple has a heated argument, it is
not so easy to hear the other person. Furthermore, our doctor was able
to provide us with very simple practical and life advices. After working
with her, I realized how \u201cout of order\u201d we all tend to live with our men. It
turns out that we make terrible mistakes in behavior simply out of
ignorance, because we act on a whim or \u201cas we should\u201d, but it is
completely unclear what the latter phrase signifies.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know, I frequently tend to encounter one particular situation. There
are people who seem to be hitting a wall. In fact, many of you would
even be able to recognize yourselves in my story. These are different
situations, but their meaning is the same \u2014 what doesn’t work. For
instance, a beautiful girl with a wonderful body and a good education,
who cannot find a life partner, and the scenario for the development of
relationships with each of her men would almost be the same,
ultimately being a failure. The second example would be a man who
cannot find a job, and if he would, he would be fired. Why is that? An
evil eye? A curse? Many charlatans from newspapers like to remove
such \u201cblocks\u201d, stating that some kind of bad energy \u201cgot hung\u201d on this
person, which did not allow them to get married, make money, build a
business, and so on. This, of course, is absolute nonsense. In fact,
everything is much more simple. To break this circle of \u201cmisfortune\u201d, an
individual should do one thing \u2014 change their behavioral pattern and
stop living the way they used to. People themselves are not capable of
this, but a psychologist can clearly show how this can be done.
However, not by using a \u201clapel\u201d or a \u201cspell\u201d, but essentially by working on
yourself!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today I am not touching upon more complex or, so to speak, \u201cclinical\u201d
cases, but they are also worth discussing in the future. I began my text
with the word \u201cdepression\u201d and I guess I would like to conclude with it.
The state of depression must be treated \u2014 it is a given. This is a disease
that is unlikely to go away on its own. Someone needs a medicative
solution to solve such issue, but someone simply needs a psychologist.
Below is an excerpt from the story of one of my acquaintances:
\u201c\u2026 I never thought that I would battle depression. An optimist by nature,
a lover of life\u2026 And here I was! At some point, it was as if something
\u201cclicked\u201d in my head. Why? Why? Pregnancy, childbirth, stress at work,
breaking up with loved ones\u2026 One layer on top of another, like a very
tasteless fat cake. There was some kind of noise and fear in my head
that felt like a nine-story building was about to fall on me.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Depression is not just being in a bad mood, it is not \u201cdon’t be upset, it’s
all good\u201d thing. This is a failure of the brain processes, an imbalance of
chemical elements, as one specialist explained to me. When I told this
to my mother, she sharply said: \u201cPull yourself together! You have
children, you need to put them on their feet!\u201d And that made it even
worse. Any slightest difficulty caused me irritation and despair. I didn’t
want to leave the house. I was just scared to live. And even worse was
the fact that I thought that I simply would not be able to cope and
would never be able to \u201cpull it off\u201d. I was lucky that after talking with my
mother, who offered me a motherwort to drink, I decided to go to the
doctor. Indeed, she immediately diagnosed me with depression by
asking merely a few questions. While working with her, I cried
constantly. Tears flowed involuntarily like a river. I told the doctor that
for the past two months I have been sleeping 4 hours a day. That the
feeling of anxiety does not leave me, that I do not like myself and often
think about death. I think about how I want to die: in the morning or in
the evening, and what would be the cause of it. I imagine poisoning
myself with pills or jumping from the 8th floor. Why I am doing this, I
do not know, and I continue to cry. The doctor prescribed me a drug
and warned me that antidepressants are a long and difficult process, so
I needed to be patient. I started the course, it got worse, and the doctor
insisted on drinking them for two weeks \u2014 she said that only then the
result can be seen. Indeed, it gets easier by the end of the second week.
The body gets adapted. Now I sleep all night long and get up early.
Energy began coming from somewhere, and I started laughing again. I
even wanted to see my friends. I forgot to mention that for the last two
months I have avoided contact with them. And no one really
understood what happened to me, because I\u2019ve always been such a
\u201clively character\u201d.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, a healthy woman (mentally healthy too) is the guarantee of any
family\u2019s well-being. If you suddenly feel unpleasant symptoms, you do
not need to talk about it with your mom or girlfriends. Go directly to a
specialist. There is nothing wrong with that. The days when people
were poisoned in a psychiatric hospital for mental disorders are gone.
And remember \u2014 you are not crazy! Psychos are the ones who tend to
think they are normal \u2014 this is the essence of serious illness. Don\u2019t be
shy. Depression can happen to anyone, and no one has the power to
control this process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Author: Masha Lopatova<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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