When I was young, and all my girlfriends were preparing to meet their princes on white horses, it became clear to me that there won\u2019t be any fairy tales. I knew it probably because I was friends with a lot of boys. Around me, my friends were always their genuine selves, and I am grateful to my destiny that I had a chance to \ufb01nd out everything about men that early on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First of all, it was clear to me that there will never be a man with a faithful body next to me. My \ufb01rst boyfriend was the proof of this statement. \u201cMy heart will always be faithful to you, but not my body.\u201d It is wonderful if a man can let his female partner know about such quirks early on. It\u2019s an honest act. Therefore, the man is powerful. Although the woman shouldn\u2019t be fragile to digest such discrete information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the day we met with my future husband, I said: \u201cI don\u2019t mind if you\u2019d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
cheat on me once a year, but there are a couple of rules: I don\u2019t have to know this person, and you can\u2019t start a relationship with her.\u201d He thought that I\u2019m crazy. I mean, who would\u2019ve thought otherwise?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet, this is, so to say, a \u201cnew level\u201d situation. Usually, women agree to marry due to a utopian idea of pure love, which in reality falls apart in 2-3 years \u2014 a \ufb01rst adultery occurs, and \u201cI was betrayed\u201d life begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some women start planning revenge, while \ufb01nding serenity cuddling with a stripper named Ildar (Murat, Renata) from \u201cEgoist\u201d. Some turn to religion and utterly lose interest to their husband and sex. Some surrender and give their husband an opportunity to continue lying again and again. Some \ufb01nd a permanent lover. There are also some who suddenly become lesbians. The most adequate ones decide to work through this situation with their husband. For some, it brings a sense of ease \u2014 till next time, and another next time, and then, thank God, impotence, elderliness, and a wheelchair turn up and do their job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In reality, cheating is an inevitable thing, like a \ufb02u. No one (except for the rare cases) has died from it, but the sensations are extremely unpleasant. Each one of us made mistakes, when it came to cheating. If you didn\u2019t, then you shouldn\u2019t continue reading this \u2014 we won\u2019t be able to hear each other out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, we tend to call disloyal men \u2014 playboys, and disloyal women \u2014 whores. It would be great to reach some kind of equality here: not a \u201cwoman of disappointment\u201d but rather a \u201cplaygirl\u201d. Let\u2019s base it on the idea that a man and a woman have an equal right to chat, and this is more important than choosing one over the other because there won\u2019t be any unfairness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From my female point of view, there are several reasons why men cheat. There are pathological cheaters. It is a diagnosis. Unfortunately, the mental illness known as \u201csexual addiction\u201d is not considered a disorder in Russia, although in America there are psychotherapists who know how to treat it. A person loves you to death, however, he can\u2019t control himself, changing partners faster than changing gloves. Such addiction, similar to the drug or the alcohol one, is recognized among celebrities too. For example, during his peak of success, Mick Jagger publicly claimed that he had it; poor Jerry Hall desperately tried to treat him. There is an accurate portrayal of such illness in a TV show called \u00abCalifornication\u00bb. There, the main character, (and in fact, the actor himself, David Duchovny) suffers from it. On the sixth part of the land, people like to refer to it as \u201cWow, what a man!\u201d A man, a guy, a normal healthy bull with semen. Personally, I feel sorry for such \u201cmachos\u201d. Without even realizing it, these men make their loved ones as well as themselves unhappy. I even know a guy like this. He is a wonderful person, I adore him. He has a wife and multiple kids. Nevertheless, his entire life he devotes only to receiving and sending photos, videos and messages with an intimate context, while planning his next dirty outing with someone he barely knows. Every single day! And what about his wife? Well, she knows. He loves her but doesn\u2019t want to have sex with her. Or he wants it on such rare occasions that no one needs it anymore. \u201cLove and sex are two different things,\u201d he explains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, love and sex are different. Yet, not in this context. What does his spouse have to do in this case? Establish a sexual connection with someone else? Probably, with a house chef or a music teacher that comes to tutor their children. By the way, this illness is also common among women (just more seldom), and the basis of it lies in the idea of the more partners there are, the calmer the heart feels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another thing is sexual promiscuity, which becomes the primary reason for all betrayals. The lack of morality, disrespect towards women, and primitive pampering as well as self-indulgence are the main ingredients of such misfortune. What would be the portrait of a betrayer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These men, as a rule, are champions of fellatio in the toilet, weak lovers (it just so happens when women are forced to simulate an orgasm when in bed with them), latent homosexuals, insecure males, who thus try to assert their right to walk on Earth. Or it’s just those who are spoiled by fate, rakes and lovelaces, who are straight up bored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the moment, when you are lying in oblivion in the hospital after giving birth to your third child, this nasty creature is sitting in a hot tub with prostitutes and a bottle of Dom Perignon in his hands, screaming: “My son Artem was born today!\u201d At a bachelor party before the wedding, he does the same thing – the usual. All the strippers in town know his real name. In Moscow traf\ufb01c, when he suddenly notices a somewhat pretty girl, he rolls down the car window and tries to seduce her with pickup lines like, \u201cLady, you are so hot that my car engine started to boil.” He always has a room in one of the central hotels, and the doorman greets him right away. Oftentimes, a scum like that marries a girl from a good family, with great education and, as they say, “concepts”, and deceives her until she sees the light, and at some point leaves him, tired of pretending to be a perfect family. It is useless to have a heart-to-heart conversation with these so-called men: they lie hopelessly and even in the worst nightmare do not allow the thought of remorse to sink in. If you happen to \ufb01nd him in bed with another woman, he would eagerly assure you that it is not him, but his twin brother, about whom you did not know. The life of such revellers is simply doomed to failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The third type of betrayal happens out of physiological inevitability. The male polygamy, this dubious but unconditional gift of nature, call from ancestors, simply urges one to act on it from time to time. Forgive me, wonderful ladies, who are reading this, but a man who wouldn\u2019t want or doesn\u2019t have sex on the side, is simply unstable. In my opinion, this is the purest form of a deceitful man – releasing the steam by \u201cgoing hunting or \ufb01shing with friends or colleagues\u201d, \u201cattending a scienti\ufb01c symposium or a business trip\u201d (how many complicated synonyms for such an elementary thing as adultery). Some guys even bring hunting and \ufb01shing trophies, a photo of themselves with a group of friends in the frame titled “Davos 2014” or a thick \ufb01le with papers, laid out in the annual report of a certain company that you do not know of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Such husbands try to not upset their wives and thus cheat under a strict secrecy. I admire men like that . They lie merely in the case of absolute necessity. They truly love their wives and truly make an effort to be home on time, even when they\u2019re coming from a sauna. Personally, I believe that a healthy nonreligious man should and can desire different women, as well as he should and can have them. To be frank, it would be very strange if my husband \u2014 after 13 years of living together \u2014 would tell me that he doesn\u2019t even want to think about other women. I know this would not be the truth.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If my husband would tell me the latter, I would not continue living with him. Because I would know that he lied to me. I believe that a wise and
self-con\ufb01dent woman shouldn\u2019t deprive her spouse of sexual fantasies. Fantasies which could one day become reality. After all, no one forbids you \u2014while being in bed with your husband \u2014 to occasionally visualize Brad Pitt or at least a \ufb01tness instructor from World Class? If we look at someone who has a physical attraction to someone else besides their spouse, then there might be some bene\ufb01ts to it. If a man is not involved emotionally, then why is it necessary to consider it a problem? If not often \u2014 say, once a month \u2014 he has sex with a woman whose name he doesn’t even know, should his actual partner be jealous? What is more dangerous, immoral \u2014 a meaningless sex with a prostitute or an intimate text exchanges between him and your best friend?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is another crucial aspect. Sometimes, we provoke cheating. Women, at some point, lose interest towards sex with their men, for pregancy and childbirth don\u2019t always positively affect the libido. There are also women who simply don\u2019t enjoy sex! Unfortunately, they \ufb01nd much more pleasure in buying a new mini-Kelly from Hermes than from arm and leg crossing\u2026 you know what I mean. Men sometimes are forced to go \ufb01nd someone else merely because they become uninterested in being in bed with their wife. Or they might be interested, but there\u2019s not enough, kinkiness or intimacy. By the way, do you even ask your man how often he needs sex?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, almost every day, if we take men starting from 20-years-olds without bad habits as an example. Are you the one with who he has sex everyday? If he had such an opportunity, he probably wouldn\u2019t deny it! So, time to make your conclusions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMine is not like that!\u201d is the most terrifying delusion among women. I am sorry! Don\u2019t hit me! Yours is exactly like that! Occasionally, we think about our men too highly. At times, some females can even claim something like, \u201cmy Andrewsha (Serezha, Ilusha, etc.) is so squeamish! He would never lie in bed with this slut. She has acrylic nails!\u201d But no\u2026 In fact, it turns out that husbands can be very unpretentious in choosing partners for a one-time sex. And with this slut, he would merge with pleasure in ecstasy. He doesn’t know what acrylic nails are. Moreover, he doesn’t even care if she has any nails at all. The main thing here is that you have claws! However, sex with someone more serious, without acrylic nails – no, here he would take time to contemplate. Why take on extra responsibility? Global body movements -only for love or very strong sympathy. And here, I’m afraid, we are powerless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Actually, the beauty of the male body lies in the fact that he can have sex even with a hollow. We women, as a rule, cheat differently and have different reasons doing so. We lack attention, affection, and adventure. In search of all these aspects, we decide to go to the other side. After all, for a woman, this is a gamble, primarily a performance rather than \u201clet\u2019s have fun and get over this\u201d. Female betrayals are rarely trivial. We cheat while seeking a new idea. And if there is no idea, we immediately come up with it. There are, undoubtedly, sexually promiscuous \ufb01gures. However, those we adore almost more than dissolute men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To conclude, here are a few pieces of advice on what to do so you don\u2019t get cheated on or get cheated on as seldom as possible. Don\u2019t turn into an evil witch \u2014 you need to be optimistic, easy-going, and fun. You\u2019ve got to love sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Give your husband attention. Love your man for who he is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Respect his (healthy) passions. As strange as it might seem, if your husband is a fan of \ufb01shing, it would not hurt you to subscribe to the magazine “Fish with Us” or “Hunting and Fishing”. Perhaps, at some point you would be able to “throw the bait” – notice his reaction when you say that it is better to go for the bream before sunset and preferably in April, because after hibernation, the nibble is fantastic. By the way, other useful truths can be extracted from the same magazine: \ufb01shing in the same hole for ten years can be hellishly boring even with all the sel\ufb02ess love for this simple activity.
Or, if your partner is a fan of soccer, then you\u2019re also in luck. You can even hire a soccer consultant and go with him to a sport bar a couple of times, dissect a few games, memorize the team positions in the League of Champions, pay attention to the coaching staff. Perfection has no limits. Also, if you really get into the topic, you may not even return home.
After reading what I wrote, some might probably think that there are no faithful husbands and merely a few faithful wives on planet Earth. Yes, that\u2019s the truth, but without a doubt, there are some exceptions. I, for instance, personally know one man, who is de\ufb01nitely faithful to his wife. They have a wonderful family, kids. And considering all this, he is an absolutely healthy, successful man. Yet, people that surround this man tend to think of him as a representative of a rare and endangered species. What if your companion turns out to be the same? Hope dies last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a9 Masha Lopatova<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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