Tell me honestly, how often have you asked yourself this question \u2014 why are you together with your husband, partner, boyfriend?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mother used to repeat the words of one dean of the institute, who claimed that in life, a woman should have only one major \u2014 to marry successfully. To be frank, I never liked that expression. Moreover, it irritated me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Successful marriage is a relative concept. After all, it implies something different for everyone: someone needs a big living space and the desire to move out from their parents as soon as possible, someone simply wishes for a rich husband, and someone requires care and attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although, each person needs care and attention. In fact, can a marriage be successful at all? Being lucky in a relationship \u2014 what does it signify anyway? Relationships are not poker to wait for a lucky hand. This is primarily work. Everyday painstaking work, which is not always crowned with success. Searching for a husband??? Why? Don’t you think it should happen naturally? As a rule, we don’t contemplate about it. And if we do, then the answer to \u201cwhy are we together\u201d is either \u201cfate tied us\u201d or \u201cbecause we love each other\u201d. These are the answers for the \u201caverage\u201d domokhozis, of course. I would like to hear something different from the \u201chigh-\ufb02ying\u201d domokhozis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It may sound strange, but even the \u201cwe love each other\u201d explanation is not enough. Although, it would seem, what could be more important than love in a relationship? In relationship 2.0, love comes \ufb01rst. Yet not to someone, but to yourself in the \ufb01rst place. We constantly confuse self-love with sel\ufb01shness, and many have not \ufb01gured it out. However, those who \ufb01gured it out reached a new qualitative level. A person who truly loves himself is essentially a self-suf\ufb01cient person. He is con\ufb01dent in himself, in his abilities, in the righteousness of his decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Furthermore, love for another person is a completely natural feeling. Nonetheless, this love is different. Not love as a necessity, but rather as freedom. \u201cI need you I want you\u201d is a good thing, but only for about two weeks (okay, okay, let it be for a couple of months), and love in the form of freedom is for eternity. Nobody belongs to anyone, because any belonging is an addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you ever tried to love freely? In a sense that you let yourself \ufb02y and let your loved one \ufb02y too? You \ufb02y together and separately. You are \ufb02ying south together, however, separately you are also \ufb02ying south… This, of course, is an unattainable peak for many. Unfortunately, there are too many conventions that prevent you from \ufb02ying high. It happens that one wants to do it, but the other does not let them. It also happens that one may already possess wings, while the other has not grown them yet. It even happens that one foolishly offers his wings to another, and subsequently starts to crawl instead of \ufb02ying. It\u2019s different every time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember how I told my husband \u201cI love you\u201d 17 years ago. I\u00a0 remember where we were… The way we were sitting… Why did I tell him this after literally two weeks of being close? Because, as my friend Igor Sorin used to say, \u201ceverything in life is an emotion\u201d. Have I thought\u00a0 about how these words would affect our relationship, or what they meant at that moment for him, my young boyfriend? I was torn to pieces, so I froze. Indeed, what did I feel at that moment? I felt the emotion that he was giving me, and I was grateful to him for that. At that time, I could only express this emotion with the phrase \u201cI love you\u201d. How deeply did I feel this love? Frankly, I didn\u2019t feel it at all. I was sel\ufb01sh at this instance. I was \u201cout of it\u201d, so I expressed myself. Did I think about my young boyfriend at that moment and his feelings? Nope. I was only interested in mine. And he, poor fella, was taken aback. He replied honestly: \u201cI like you very much.\u201d Well done, Andrei. Fair and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI love you\u201d is a rather primitive sel\ufb01sh nonsense. At least for me. True love is not respect, nor passion, nor common interests gathered in one bottle (as many people tend to think). Love is not a need, nor a necessity, as some individuals claim, who tend to think more simply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love is a UNION. A union sealed by freedom, as strange as it may sound. Oxymoron? (Or it\u2019s not how they call it?) I don’t know. However, this also happens in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Author: Masha Lopatova<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tell me honestly, how often have you asked yourself this question \u2014 why are you together with your husband, partner, boyfriend? My mother used to repeat the words of one dean of the institute, who claimed that in life, a woman should have only one major \u2014 to marry successfully. To be frank, I never<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":35401,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34685"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34685"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34685\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36555,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34685\/revisions\/36555"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopatova.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}